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Weekly Marriage Blog

Enough is Enough, Part 9

By Dr. David Clarke, Ph.D

The Big Idea

What to do if your abuser repents and shows real change. 

The Teaching

If 6 months after you give him your list of requirements, he has completed every item on your list and his attitude is humble and godly, you can move to the next phase of recovery.

You stay separated, but you enter couple counseling with a Christian therapist of your choosing.  You will spend 3-5 months focusing on his abuse of you. He will help you heal from the damage he's done.  My book, I Don't Love You Anymore, has a specific, detailed guide for this phase.

As you heal, you can begin to spend some time with him.  Dates, family time, and attending church can happen.

Next, you two will work with your therapist to build a brand new marriage:  communication, handling conflict, meeting real needs.  My book(I have a book for everything), I Don't Want a Divorce, can guide you through this phase. 

At some point in this last phase, with God's guidance and your therapist's help, you will move in together.  

These blogs are based on my recent book, Enough is Enough:  How to Leave an Abusive Relationship.  

Next week, what to do if your abuser does not repent and shows no change.

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