The Big Idea
Once you and the kids are out of the home and in your new place, it's time to give your abuser a chance to repent and change.
It's been one month since you left your abuser. No matter what his behavior has been during this month, it's now time to Matthew 18 him. Matthew 18:15-17 is where Jesus lays out in detail how to confront someone who has sinned against you.
The first step in the Matthew 18 process is a list of actions your abuser will have to accomplish-if he wants you back. You aren't going near him; one of your support team members will deliver this list to your abuser:
1. You will see a Christian licensed therapist once a week for a minimum of 6 months. You will find out why you are abusive, and you'll get into recovery. You'll sign a release allowing me to get updates from your therapist.
2. You will write a a complete history of how you have abused me. In detail, from the beginning of our relationship to the day I left you. You will send this Document to my designated representative within the next 3 months.
3. You will tell the truth of how you've abused me to your pastor, your church leaders, your family and my family, and our children.
4. You will join a Celebrate Recovery Group and stay in it until you've completed an entire Step Study.
5. You will work very hard to grow spiritually by: attending church weekly, joining a small group Bible Study, and doing a daily quiet time.
6. Find one godly man who will hold you accountable in your therapy process, your spiritual process, and in all the actions on this list.
7. You will fully support me and the kids financially during the separation.
8. You will sign a legal document agreeing to a fair division of our assets and custody agreement in the event of a divorce.
Next week, the possible reactions of your abuser to this list.
For my complete escape strategy, get my book: Enough is Enough, How to Leave an Abusive Relationship
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