The Big Idea
More examples of abuse.
Here are more ways abuse is expressed:
I have anger outbursts: My tolerance for frustration is quite low, and often, unpredictably, I blow up. If I'm having a bad day, you're going to have a bad day. I raise my voice, I use profanity, I throw things, and I do property damage.
I am violent: When I get angry, I have to hit someone. Since you are the one who usually gets me angry, I hit you. I slap you, punch you, choke you, pin you down, and whatever else I feel like doing in my rage. The best part is, it's your fault.
I am a workaholic: I love my career more than I love you. A lot more. I work way too many hours. I tell you it's for you and the kids. It's actually just for me.
I am an alcoholic: I love to drink, and I'm not going to stop. It makes me feel good and helps me escape the stresses of life. My drinking ruins just about every special event. And a lot of days and weekends in between. Well, it ruins these days for you. I'm fine with it.
I am a drug addict: Even though I'm an adult, I still smoke pot. I may also use other illegal drugs. I may be addicted to prescription drugs. I'll do the occasional rehab, but I'm not stopping.
I am a sexual sinner: I like porn, and I watch it whenever I can. It's so easy to access, and it's not hurting anyone. Oh, except for you. And I don't care about you. You can't meet my sexual needs so I have to look elsewhere. I have emotional affairs. I may also have had physical affairs.
I blame you for everything: It's never my fault. It's always your fault. Whenever I'm upset-and I'm upset a lot-it's your fault. Every single one of our marriage problems is your fault.
Now that I have given you a snapshot of what abuse looks like, I will give you an overview of how to leave an abuser. The detailed plan of how to leave is in my book: Enough is Enough.