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Enough is Enough, Part 3

By Dr. David Clarke, Ph.D

The Big Idea

What abuse looks like.

The Teaching

Here are some examples of abuse. 

I verbally abuse you:  I'm highly critical of you, especially when you don't meet my expectations, and you rarely meet my expectations.  I mock you and belittle you for your shortcomings.

I neglect your needs:  The truth is, I'm aware of my needs only.  If you would meet my needs, then I would meet yours.  Too bad you never fully meet my  needs, so you're on your own.

I give you the silent treatment:  When you do or say something that upsets me, I shut down and ignore you.  I can stay silent for days and weeks.  Even months.  

I control you:  I control just about every area of your life.  Your contact with your family, your friends, where you go and who you spend time with, your activities, how much of my money-and it's all my money-you can spend, your clothes, how you parent. . .   If you resist, you're not being submissive and I will punish you.

I'm a lazy slacker: I don't like to work, so I avoid it as much as I can.  I go from job to job, and have long stretches of no work.  For some reason, I can't seem to get along with management.  One day-you'll see-I may get a steady job.  But, then again, probably not.  You will have to make the money. 

Sound familiar?  For some of you, maybe many of you, I'll bet it does.  Abusers don't talk this way, of course.  But I know abusers, and this is how they think. 

Next week, more examples of abuse. If you know someone who lives with an abuser, pass these blogs along.  These blogs on abuse are based on my new book, titled:  Enough is Enough, How to Leave an Abusive Relationship.  You can only get this book from my website. 

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